Merlyn C. Faris III
A recent conversation with my 9 year old left me speechless. My son approached me with a simple statement, “I know why he did it.” You see, my son had been contemplating the story of a Medal of Honor recipient that he had secretly observed from the other room. After analysis, he was now there to drop some of the deepest truths possible upon me; truths I wasn’t prepared to hear.
The story was of a man that, though wounded many times in the course of the battle, carried his wounded comrades to a waiting helicopter, harnessed them in, purposefully exposed himself to draw enemy fire while they were hoisted up, and then, without support, he returned to retrieve another to carry back. He did this again and again and again, until he was the last; only to be mortally wounded as he himself got onboard.
My son continued, “He had a conversation with himself, ahead of time. He had a conversation and he made a decision. He had to have thought about this before it happened otherwise there is no way he would have been able to have that level of resolve.” I was floored at the words of my son but I didn’t want this discussion to end there, so I asked more as to this resolve and decision. “He decided he was already dead. That’s the only way you could live so powerfully in the middle of fear, is if you consider yourself dead already,” my son informed me. Speechless I sat there.
I was astounded at this point in the conversation, so many thoughts are rolling through my mind. Little did I know he had one more up his sleeve to drop on me and leave me ruminating on it for weeks.
“It was love.”
“Excuse me?”
“It was love. Sure he was brave, courageous, strong, and heroic; but love is the only thing that could make you choose someone else’s life instead of your own again and again. He loved others more than he loved himself, more than he loved his life, more than he loved his wife and kids and house. Love is why he did it and love is why he kept going.”
Moving from there to an exchange I had with a good friend recently; one I’ve had countless times, as I’m sure you have as well. In discussions of current events and the perceived destinations of such events her question to me was direct and simply-complex… “So what can we even do? Can we come back from this and avoid where we’re headed? Is there any hope?” Her emotions were real, almost tangible; they bore so much weight. She, like many, is angry, committed, courageous, patriotic, proud, and tired. She is also seeing the despair, growing in angst, and teetering on the edge of hopelessness. When faced with this question what is one to say? Do we use some vain platitude about boot straps, American ingenuity, or guns? Should one break out in song to “God bless America”; or perhaps stand up and recite the pledge? What I offered up instead was historical context and truth, but even that fell short. It was nutritious but not filling for various reasons. You see, her patriotism like many’s, despite how it sprouted, has grown to be based out of fear. Proper analytics need always happen on: the situation, the emotions/perception, and the actions/motives to properly resolve disconnects and implement meaningful actions.
So what then is the answer to a seemingly hopeless situation? If I’m saying that reactionary fear-driven patriotism is wrong and unsustainable, if fear driven “patriotic activists” are just as dangerous as power hungry tyrants, and if fear has pushed us to the point of compromises on justice, ethics, and morality in pursuit of the desired ends...what then is the answer to give to someone in my friend’s dichotomy of despair?
Love…love is the answer. Love is where we must draw from. Is there anything more expounded upon in books, religion, entertainment, and society and yet so forgotten, so misunderstood, misinterpreted, and misused? We need to understand love and He who defines it, rather than worship our definition of “love” and define and limit our god by our shallow definition.
Does your quest of patriotism and freedom come from a foundation of love or fear? Love has hope. Authentic love doesn’t burn out quickly. Love is self-sacrificing and so many more things. However, fear is more often than not the hidden driving force in many “patriotic” endeavors. Fear is anxious. Fear causes despair and burn out. In its quest for solutions, fear often produces a beast it sees as the savior but in the end will surely be foe… the ever dangerous “well intentioned” legislation. Fear causes people to pick up a “moral” club, paint love on it, and beat others into submission. Fear has little to no hope.
Love should be the motivation for charity. Love should be the motivation for civic service. Love should be the motivation to extend grace and liberty in debate, lifestyle, and legislation. Love for a fellow citizen (an individual created being), love for liberty/truth/justice/moral law/ethical order should be the foundation of our patriotic passions. When your life and mine come to their inevitable end, I hope those that don’t even know us can look at our life’s story and come to the conclusion; “It was because of love.”
“This is my commandment, that you love one another as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends.
John 15:12-13
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